Choosing Presence Over Perfection in a “Lifing” Season Full of Love
A Quiet, Intentional, and Reflective January
If you noticed a bit of a "radio silence" from Integrate You this past January, you aren't imagining things. January was quieter for us at Integrate You — and that quiet was intentional.
With all the new year noise that came with everyone’s 2025 reflections on all the feeds, the nightly news becoming more heated amidst devastation around the world, and all the gurus wanting to sell something to make 2026 “the best year yet,” being quiet felt necessary to sit, be with the Lord, and hear from Him.
We stepped back from newsletter emails, social media, and the usual operational rhythms because we sensed the Lord inviting us to re-ground in, listen to, and recalibrate with Him before moving forward into a new season. What I, Emma Rose, didn’t anticipate was how much of “life” would meet us in that quiet.
Returning to the fast pace of the doctoral program with clients, walking alongside family through unexpected health twists, turns, and literal moves, and continuing the tender work of continuous healing for deeper levels of freedom, my heart, body, and soul needed His calm presence to steady me in it all.
It was one of those months where everything felt important, fragile, uncertain, and unfinished — where life was, quite simply, “lifing.”
And yet, January also became a month where God met me deeply.
A Broken-Open Heart with God Who Orders My Steps This Year
One of the most stretching weekends was participating in the Allender Center Trauma-Focused Care training — a space that invites you to encounter both the beauty and brutality of our human stories. It was one of those weekends that doesn’t let you stay defended. It gently, persistently asks your heart that was brutally treated in the past to come forward into the present, being fully present with others and God, for more integration.
At the same time each night of the training, I was also participating in my home church’s annual conference, allowing the Spirit to encourage and reorient me for the year ahead.
Holding both spaces simultaneously felt symbolic of this season: deep learning, deep healing, and deep presence and acceptance of what is and what was, all at once.
There were moments where my heart felt tender and raw… and moments where it felt unexpectedly strengthened.
Through the intensity, God had been recalibrating me and being so clear about how He wants me to spend my time. He invited me into a "Monday morning meeting with His Majesty" rhythm to ensure my week is aligned with His will, not just my own to-do list. And let me tell you, He shows up even when I don’t plan for it.
During that Allender training, I had a random lunch stop by myself, where someone unexpectedly gave me a Scripture that kept coming to them that was exactly what my soul needed to hear that day.
God reminded me that He is not intimidated by complexity. He meets us in the overlap, where pain, formation, hope, and calling all intersect.
Learning to Be Available —
Not Perfect
This season has also been one of learning how to be available – to my family, to my studies, and to the people I serve – without trying to be everything to everyone.
In recent weeks, my father-in-law, whom my husband and I help care for, began declining beyond what we had hoped and prayed for. Around the same time, my own father required emergency surgery.
Caregiving has a way of clarifying what matters and exposing the quiet voices that tell us we should pull back, cancel plans, or disappear until life feels more “together.”
I noticed one such voice whispering:
“You shouldn’t gather for your birthday this year. Life is too messy. The house isn’t ready. The cars need work. Your people are tired, and some may not be here long. No one will mind if you cancel, in fact, they might even be relieved themselves.”
But another, truer voice reminded me why I planned February gatherings in the first place, out of love.
Choosing Presence Over Perfection
These gatherings were never really about just celebrating me.
They were, and still are, about loving God and loving others in the middle of real life, not waiting until things are neat and resolved, but loving people in this short life on earth while we can.
It felt like a necessary resistance to celebrate life amidst all the messy and unexpected.
So, we’re hosting two meaningful fundraisers that have a "birthday-bent" but a mission-focus for Integrate You.
These events help us fund the very real costs of two trauma-focused group therapies, their materials, and participant stipends at Journeys Counseling and Vanguard University, as well as our sharing of our ongoing research on inner healing in the therapy room at the upcoming Christian Association of Psychological Studies conference.
Below are two ways you can support us and the mission of Integrate You just by doing what you already do every day — eating!
1. 🥐 Sunday, February 8 — Corner Bakery Café (25%)
If you’re ordering or heading out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner this Sunday/tomorrow, we invite you to get your meal at the Corner Bakery Café at 17575 Harvard Ave in Irvine!
When: Sunday, February 8, 7am - 9pm
Where: 17575 Harvard Ave. Irvine, CA 92614
How: Mention the Integrate You fundraiser upon ordering for either Dine-in, Take-out, Pick up, or Delivery, as long as you order through walking in, calling the restaurant directly at 949-399-0999, or placing a pick-up or delivery order through the Corner Bakery Cafe's order website and using the coupon code of "659". (Please note: Orders from third-party delivery apps do not qualify for this fundraiser.
Impact: ✨ 25% of purchases (non-catering) will be donated back!
If you want to have double the impact AND celebrate life with us in person, we invite you to our second meal fundraiser on Emma Rose’s birthday!
Gather in Newport the night of my 37th bday!
2. 🌴 Tuesday, February 17 — Islands Birthday Dinner (20%)
Join us for my Family & Friends of Integrate You Birthday Dinner FUNdraiser at Islands in Newport Beach on my actual 37th birthday!
When: Tuesday, February 17, 5:30/6pm - 8pm
Where: 1380 Bison Ave, Newport Beach, CA 92660
How: Take a screenshot of the flyer above and mention the Integrate You fundraiser upon ordering for either Dine in, Take-out, Pick up, or Delivery, as long as you order through walking in or calling the restaurant directly at 949-219-0445. (Please note: Orders from third-party delivery apps do not qualify for this fundraiser.
Impact: ✨ 20% of purchases (non-alcoholic) will be donated back!
RSVP to join in-person by 2/16: Emma Rose’s Birthday Dinner RSVP
We hope you, your friends, and family will join us hungry in-person, as there will be games and awesome food! However, a take-out or delivery order called in works too if you cannot stay, but want to say hi!
Both fundraisers will be simple and probably imperfect, but I know it’ll make an impact on our ministry. Sometimes loving others looks like opening your life, not when everything is polished, but when it’s honest.
Loving God & Others — Even Here
As I reflect on this season, Luke 10:27 keeps returning to me:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength… and love your neighbor as yourself.”
This feels like the quiet invitation of February — not to do more, but to love more fully.
To love God in daily communion.
To love family in daily support and caregiving.
To love others through gathering and generosity.
To love others as ourselves with compassion, grace, and truth.
I’m deeply grateful that we get to stay close to the love of God amid the fast pace, the unknowns, and the ongoing work of deeper healing and integration. And I’m grateful for the honor and privilege of walking this path with you.
Life will keep "lifing," but we will keep loving.
Thank you for being part of this community — for showing up, supporting the mission, and choosing to love in real life with me.
Because He first loved us,
Emma Rose
